Kidnap The Sandy Claws
by Zackary Anderson J
Summary: Jackson/Stiles. Brief mentions of Isaac/Erica. Stiles and Danny have a heart-to-heart about Jackson's genitals. Stiles contemplates it and gets punched by Erica. Later that night, Stiles and Jackson have a heart-to-heart about Jackson's genitals, too. Mentions of Knotting.


KIDNAP THE SANDY CLAWS

**Disclaimer:: **I do not own Teen Wolf** or any recognizable characters, artistic inventions, etcetera. Jeff Davis developed it; Monica Macer produced it, and MTV airs it. **I do not own the song Kidnap The Sandy Claws or any of its lyrics**. It was written and produced by Danny Elfman, and performed by Paul Reubens, Catherine O'Hara, and Danny Elfman. **I do not own The Nightmare Before Christmas **or any recognizable characters, artistic inventions, etcetera. Tim Burton produced and co-wrote it with Denise Di Novi; Henry Selick directed it.** I do not, did not, and will not make any money from writing this**.******

A/N: Slight Isaac/Erica bashing, well… more just Erica bashing. Don't hate me. I really have no problem with her (except when she pistol-whipped Stiles with his own car that is . ). Also, slightly AU due to the fact that Danny's all filled in on everyone's status as werewolves and whatnot. Aaaaaaannnd Jackson came to peace with his inner homosexual as Stiles did with his inner bisexual and they hooked up and began dating and all that. Matt died and the Kanima died too with the loss of its precious master, leaving Jackson a werewolf.

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We'll send a present to his door  
Upon there'll be a note to read  
Now, in the box we'll wait and hide  
Until his curiosity entices him to look inside  
And then we'll have him One, two, three

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Stiles Stilinski was conflicted. He'd left class early, been kicked out for his mouth actually, and was sitting with Danny, who somehow always managed to buy his food and sit down before the bell so much as rang. They were discussing Stiles' relationship, yes he was in one and happily too, but dating a werewolf wasn't exactly a walk in the dog-park. Of course, it was better to be dating the boy _now_ as a werewolf where he can actually learn to control himself rather than when he was a creepy Kanima under the control of a psychopathic homicidal maniac with a mindset to kill everyone.

"_Do_ they have knots?" Stiles asked, genuinely concerned for not only his lower body parts but his sex life in general as well. He wasn't sure if he could handle being bedded by a man (dog… okay, _wolf_-man-hybrid, but a man nonetheless) with a giant ball forming on his dick. What would that even feel like? His eyebrows pulled together at the thought and he contemplated it. Well if it didn't feel _bad_…

"You could always just go and ask Jackson. You are only dating him." Had Lydia been with them she would have scoffed. Stiles lightly smiled, as did Danny knowing how happy the two made each other. Sure, they bickered like they still hated each other, but they were always holding hands and looking at each other like Scott looked at Allison. They were like a married couple, and Lydia loved to tease them about it. Stiles was actually surprised that she was okay with them dating; she had, after all, been heav over heels for the taller teen and Stiles was "supposed to be" in love with her...

"That'd be weird and he'd just call me stupid. You're his best friend, you ask him!" Danny's smile fell as he looked at the supposed genius.

"No. _That_ would be weird. The last thing any guy wants is his gay best friend asking about his junk, even if they're both dating guys." Why would he even _want_ to ask Jackson if his dick resembled a dogs—sorry, a wolves penis?

"Well I'm not asking him!" cried Stiles.

"Fine," Stiles wagged his nonexistent tail, thinking that Danny was giving into asking Jackson the big question. The Hawaiian pointed his finger behind Stiles, dragging his apple to his mouth with the other. "You've got beauty and the beast over there that you can ask." He took a bite from the apple, "She's probably pretty well acquainted with his anatomy by now to know.."

Stiles laughed, "You've got the beast part right, not so much for the harlot." The harlot being Erica, her beastly counterpart and Stiles' would-have-been-murderer being Isaac._ "Burn!"_ He thinks to himself, silently proud at his own witty comment.

"I'll go call the burn unit for that one," Stiles grins widely, Danny acknowledged his sarcasm even if he spoke it dryly! "Shame they can't hear you though." Stiles shrugged, he was on a roll in his own mind so he threw out another comment,

"Probably can't smell us over the scent of fish either..!" There was a brief moment of silence.

"Dude, she's heading this way." Danny's eyes were wide and Stiles' good mood plummeted.

"What!?"

"Well now we know they could hear us.." Danny sounded uncomfortably okay with saying that. He smirked with a fake wince at Stiles, "Erica doesn't look too happy." Stiles groaned, _he_ was supposed to be the wiseass!

"_Of course," _thought Stiles. _"Of course the supernatural dog-human-hybrids can hear our dumbasses with their supernatural hearing and be supernaturally pissed off enough to haul their supernatural asses over here to supernaturally kick __**our**__ asses. __**Of course**__!"_

Five hours later, Stiles could be found watching _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ with Jackson, his loving and doting boyfriend who was oh, so kindly being a popcorn whore and not sharing. Stiles shifted in his seat on the couch, Jackson's parents were off on business and wouldn't be back for a week. Stiles had seen them off two hours earlier with Jackson. Mrs. Whittemore had tended to his lightly puffed black eye with ice and cooed like he was an abused puppy. Jackson had laughed at him, which led his adoptive mother to turn to him.

"_Did you do this to my baby?!"_ She had scolded Jackson accusingly.

"_What?! No!"_

"_Well then you better cut that out before I do it to you, young man!"_ Stiles liked her.

He squirmed in his seat, remembering the black eye led to him remembering the topic of conversation he'd had with Danny before he'd gotten the wound from Erica.

"Hey, Jacks?"

"'Sup, babe?" Jackson glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, popping the last piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"Do you have a... uh..."

"…'A uh' what?" He swallowed the popcorn.

"Do you have a kn—nope, no. Not asking. Too weird, sorry, nope. Watch the movie and pass the popcorn please, way too weird, nope! Maybe next time!"

"…okay? Here..." He handed Stiles the empty popcorn bowl and Stiles groaned sadly and placed he bowl on the table in front of them. Jackson rubbed Stiles' neck with his thumb in apology for eating it all.

About fifteen minutes into the movie, Jackson noticed something was off with his boyfriend. By _something_ Jackson meant Stiles' eyes, and by _off_ he meant that they were more into watching Jackson's crotch than watching the movie.

"What?"

"Hm? Something wrong?"

"Yeah, you're staring. _What_?"

"Nothing, I can't look at my boyfriend without being barked at? Would you rather me blind so I can't see anything; I mean I'm sure I could find a vat of toxic to trip in or piss off Derek enough to—mmph!" Jackson covered Stiles' mouth with a hand,

"Stop talking. Why are you staring at my lap?" He removed his hand before Stiles could lick it if only for an answer.

"What, now I'm not allowed to look at my boyfriend's dick?" He actually sounded genuinely offended.

"Well if you really want to..." The co-captain of the lacrosse team smirked and made quick work of unzipping his lose-fitting jeans.

"No! No, stop that, no! Bad Jackson!" It was at that point that Stiles put his hands into play and started pointing in Jackson's face. Jackson zipped his pants up and swatted the hand away. To the blonde's annoyance, whenever he tried to push his smaller boyfriend's hand away or tilt his head away, Stiles kept pushing his index finger back to its position in front of Jackson's face. "Bad werewolf! You keep your crotch to yourself and you do _not_ go humping people," Who said anything about Jackson humping him? "I don't care if you're dating them and alone in the house with them and on your couch! No mounting Stiles!" _Mounting_? Stiles _did_ know that he wasn't _actually_ a wolf... right?

"Okay, shut up and watch your movie, weirdo." Jackson grinned.

"_Oh my god_, you are so bossy!"

"You like it though," He turned and shifted closer to Stiles. "Just like you like it when I do this.." Jackson kissed his cheek wetly. He then began trailing smaller kisses down Stiles' cheek to his jaw line and then up to nibble on his ear lobe. The peppering kisses took another trip down Stiles' jaw line to under his chin, up said chin and finally to the corner of his mouth. Jackson pulled back and Stiles stared at his lips as they were slowly moistened by a wet lick. Stiles' heart raced as images of where those sexy and deliciously full lips had been. His eyes fluttered along with his heart. When their lips brushed Stiles enjoyed it momentarily before he abruptly pushed Jackson back but kept him close,

"No! Nope, no, nuh-uh! That's gonna lead to making out heavily, and then you're gonna do something hot and I'm gonna turn to goo!" Jackson moved in for another kiss, rolling his eyes mentally. Stiles pushed Jackson away once more though, their breath mixing. His hands remained on his large chest and his fists clenched around the shirt. Jackson could hear his heartbeat increase and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at how nervous it sounded. Stiles closed his eyes tightly to avoid his gaze as the characters in the movie panicked over an absent Jack. "Then you're gonna just take control of me like a fricken puppet since I'm the weak human of the group and were gonna have awkward sex that is awkward cuz of your knot!" Wait what? Jackson did a double take, having been barely listening to his ranting boyfriend. Knot? "And it'll probably make me bleed and I've gone _eighteen days_ without bleeding, _in a __**row**_," he sounded oddly proud of that "because of _you're_ werewolf bullshit and I am enjoying it!" _His_ werewolf shit? Jackson was baffled. What the hell about the rest of the pack?! If anything it was _Derek's_ werewolf shit, it was his pack not Jackson's! Or at_ least _call it Scott's werewolf bullshit! "And there's nothing you're-"

"My knot?" Jackson decided that if he was going to cut in, which he desperately needed to do unless they wanted to miss the rest of the movie.

"Uh.. Did I say knot?" Stiles asked, face going blank and pretty dopey looking. "I mean... I meant... I- um... Well I, I don't know what I mean, but I didn't mean knot, okay!?" Yeah, _okay_.

"Is that why you haven't let me touch you? Cuz of the fucking_ knot_?"

"Well.. Yeah, no. It may be… okay it is, yeah. But you can't blame me for—"

"Oh, thank god." ...What?

"What?" Stiles voiced.

"I though you changed your mind about this, about _us_, Stilinski—"

"Don't call me that."

"—and you were planning on breaking up with me! I mean you don't _have_ to take the knot, you do know that right? I'd really like it if you did though, _really_ like it." Again; _**what**_?! Jackson's last sentence was spoken over and probably not even heard by Stiles.

"Why would I break, wait! You—I don't... huh? What? Oh god, you _do _have one? As in like a—oh my _god_. I though, I mean... you... Oh my god..."

"Watch your movie, Stiles." Jackson pressed a quick kiss to Stiles' cheek and then leaned forward, pressing his warm torso against the right side of his shocked boyfriend. Jackson was slightly proud of himself. They'd been dating for months and this was the first time he'd literally paralyzed Stiles since he had been the Kanima! He whispered huskily, breath hot and lips warm against Stiles' ear, "You can play with it later."

"_**WHAT**_?!"

Jackson stood and made his way to the kitchen, Stiles was going to need more popcorn if Lock, Shock, and Barrel were ever going to kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws without being interrupted.

Review if you want me to add another chapter, cuz I was gonna end it here but if enough people want it I will add one! Thanks for reading!


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